Bless the Lord, oh my soul and all that is within me Bless His holy name!! For Lord, there is nothing too big for You! You never leave or forsake us and Your ways are always good! You have a purpose and a plan, a reason for everything that You do and it is always for our good and for our best!
This morning I awoke from an unusual dream. I am not sure why but in the context of the dream I was very anxious and alone standing near a doorway. A strong yet ethereal hand reached out and drew me toward and then through the doorway and I hesitantly took hold and followed. At the other end of that arm was what I presume to be my Savior… the presence of total and complete love, like no earthly love was all around and overwhelming. It was a place of perfect peace, joy and total well-being, like nothing I have ever experienced. This sense carried over into my waking moments.
As I carried on my morning, within about an hour, I received a phone call from an Emory phone number. It was my doctor with the results of a CT scan I had yesterday. A little back story, in May my primary physician had me have a test to access my heart because my parents both died from sudden heart attacks at a fairly young age. This test resulted in finding an aortic enlargement. The finding knocked the breath out of me; I knew instinctively that this was actually what is known as an aneurysm. I also, was very aware how dangerous and life threatening this condition could be and a specialist should be consulted. I did and had additional testing which lead to the repeat CT yesterday and this morning’s phone call.
In the meantime, we have been praying for healing and many have joined us! Before I go any further in my story, I want to explain my thoughts on healing and the Healer. I believe in a Sovereign God, the Creator of all that exists. He is all-knowing, all-sufficient and again Sovereign. He knows best. I fully believe He heals and not always in the same way. Sometimes it is instant, other times progressive. I believe He uses doctors if He desires and in some cases, our healing may be to enter His presence and our heavenly reward if we are His children. I don’t believe illness is His desire for us but a result of a fallen and broken world because when Jesus walked the earth, He went about healing all who were sick and oppressed. He desire is for our wholeness: spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally!! He came to set us free and restore what was lost because of the entrance of sin into the earth and we have a choice to make, simply to accept what He offers or reject it. He sets before us life and death, blessing and cursing and asks us to choose life. (Isaiah 61-1-3)(Deuteronomy 13:19)
Today, my doctor is puzzled at the differences in the two scans. Based on his words to me, I doubt they normally see the decreasing of an enlarged aorta, but I am rejoicing. My CT results, according to the report, show the aorta at 3.8cm at its greatest dimension which he said was considered normal in some people. I am standing on the belief that the Lord, Himself is healing this and that what began as a reading of 4.2cm has reduced to 3.8 and will continue until the artery is exactly the size it should be whether that is right as it is or a lesser measurement! I am so grateful for faithful prayer warriors who have lifted and continue to lift me up before the throne of Grace, for evidence of answered prayer and most of all to my faithful and gracious God- Father, Son and Holy Spirit; for the One who never leaves or forsakes us; goes before us; walks with us; and who is our rear guard!
Would I feel the same had the news been different? I believe I would. Why? Because He is able to do exceeding, abundantly above and beyond all we can ask or imagine. Would I still believe in His goodness, absolutely! Why? Because He provides the availability of medical management of this problem and surgical repair options. Besides, as much as I love my family and friends and as much as I enjoy living, loving, and serving in this life; I know Who holds my future and life as we know it here on earth is but a shadow of the real life that awaits in His everlasting Kingdom!!